What Hurts The Most
by purplepagoda
Summary: It's funny how one moment can completely change your entire life. Does Wilhelmina's mysterious past have something to do with her murky past? Does she hold a dark secret? Maybe there is a reason why she is so cold, and unfeeling.
1. Hero

She sits at her desk quietly, staring at the phone, for no reason. She chews on her pen cap nervously. She doesn't hear Marc come into her offices.

"Why are you chewing on your pen?" he questions.

She quickly removes the pen from her mouth and tosses it in the trash can next to her desk.

"What do you need?" she questions looking up at him.

"Have you found a new assistant yet?"

"I've been too busy," she admits.

"You need to make time."

"Marc I appreciate your concern, but I'm busy."

"I set up interviews tomorrow."

"You'll have to cancel them. I'm off tomorrow."

"You're off?"

"Yes," she answers.

"Ok," he relents.

Marc stops off in Daniel's office to talk to him.

"I set up interviews for you to find a new assistant."

"When?"

"Tomorrow."

"Good."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Do you know that Wilhelmina is taking the day off tomorrow?"

"What is tomorrow?

"January 26th."

"Yes,"he answers.

"You're pretty busy right now. Can you really afford to have her take any time off?"

"You've been her assistant for a long time I can't believe that you've never noticed."

"Noticed what?"

"She's taken that day off every year for the past four years."

"It's not her birthday."

"To be honest, I don't know why she takes it off, but she does."

"Just one day?"

"The twenty sixth of January, every year for the past four years."

"I wonder why?"

"Then you should ask her," Daniel suggests.

"No. I thought that you would know."

"I don't."

"You don't have any clue?"

"We both that Wilhelmina never asks for time off. Four years ago when she came to me and asked I was shocked. It was very short notice and..."

"What was the reason?"

"She just told me that it was for personal reasons."

"That was good enough?"

"For Wilhelmina? Yeah."

"How much noticed did she give you?"

"None. Four years ago she came in on the twenty sixth and asked for four days off. I didn't question it. She used her emergency vacation days."

"Interesting."

Marc returns to Willie's office to confront her. The door is open, but he hears her from on the phone and listens from outside.

"Yes I'm calling to confirm my flight for tomorrow," she pauses, "The seven fifteen to Dulles International Airport. Wilhelmina Slater. Yes," she pauses again, listening to the voice on the other end, "Thank you. Goodbye," she hangs up the phone.

Marc then enters her office.

"Do you need something?" she raises an eyebrow.

"Do you want lunch?"

"I'm fine."

"I was just wondering, because you were eating your ink pen."

"Not because I'm hungry."

"So why then?"

"I don't know," she shrugs.

"So do you have big plans for your day off?"

"No," she answers.

"You're not going anywhere, or doing anything?"

"No," she answers.

After she leaves that night Marc gets onto her computer and searches her history for the day. He meticulously goes through the list.

Wilhelmina sits in her bed with the lamp on. She flips through the pages of a book. She reaches the last page and stares at the picture for a very long time. She chokes back her emotions, and returns the book to the drawer of her bedside stand.

Marc clicks on one of the links. The page loads and he finds an obituary.

"What are you doing in Wilhelmina's office?" Betty asks.

"I'm up to no good," he admits.

"So did you find anything incriminating?"

"I'm just going through the history on her computer."

"Did you find anything?"

"I found an obituary."

"Wilhelmina's?"

"No. It's for a soldier."

"A soldier?" she questions.

"Gabe Edward Cooper, nineteen killed in the line of duty."

"Does it list who he was survived by?"

"No," he answers.

"Do you think that she knew him?"

"Hard to tell."

"Why are you on her computer anyway?"

"Because I was curious."

"About what?"

"She's taking tomorrow off."

"So?"

Marc continues reading, "He's buried in D.C."

"What's your point?"

"I overheard Wilhelmina on the phone today. She was confirming a flight to Dulles, tomorrow. Which happens to be the same day that Gabe Cooper died."

"Maybe he's a friend, or a relative. A nephew maybe?"

"Maybe," he shrugs.


	2. Someone Like You

After a flight, and a short car ride she finds herself standing in the exact spot she had stood four years earlier. She stares at a headstone that reads, _Gabe Edward Cooper, 12/25/86-1/26/2006, A Courageous Hero._ She ignores the cold, as a tear falls from her eye, and begins to travel down her cheek. She hears footsteps and turns to find a familiar figure standing close to her.

"Wilhelmina," he greets.

"Greyson," she answers.

He pulls an envelope out of the pocket of the jacket of his suit. He hands it to her.

"What's this?"

"Something that I should have given you four years ago," he admits.

She looks at the writing on the front of the letter. She instantly recognizes the handwriting. "I didn't read it."

"Thank you."

"I should have given it to you earlier, but I wasn't ready to let him go, and you were so angry."

"I'm still angry."

"I know."

"I can't blame you, because it wasn't your fault, not entirely."

"Why don't we have lunch?"

"Now you're trying to be amicable?"

"I'm trying to be a better person. Gabe would have wanted that."

"Gabe wanted a lot of things while he was living, yet you never gave him any of them."

"And I'll regret that until the day that I die. Please, can we try to be civil? We both made mistakes. We should try to move past them."

"Greyson I'll never be able to move past your mistakes."

"What about yours?"

"I live with them every day of my life."

"And they've made bitter, and intolerable."

"You're unbelievable."

He looks at the headstone, "I'm sorry. I'm being out of line. I'll go now."

"Don't leave. I don't want to have to mourn alone," she admits.

"We shouldn't have to be in mourning at all. I still don't understand what happened."

"You let a seventeen year old child enlist, and now he's dead. It's simple."

"It's not that simple Wilhelmina. You don't know how long I struggled with that decision. You of all people should know how strong-willed Gabe was. He would have found a way."

"I'm sure that he would have, but maybe he wouldn't be six feet under right now if you had made him wait."

"It isn't my fault. I had no control over what happened."

"What happened exactly? You never explained it to me."

"I don't know exactly. There was an explosion, and Gabe was at the wrong place at the wrong time."

"With all your connections that's all you know about your own son's death?"

"To be honest, I don't want to know Wilhelmina. I don't want to know because it would kill me if I found out that he had to suffer for even a second."

"That would kill you? What you did doesn't eat at your soul?"

"I've got to go," he answers.

She places flowers on the grave, and heads to the car waiting on her. After a quick meal she heads back to the airport. She's back in New York before sunset. She's staring at the letter laying on her counter, from Gabe when the phone rings.

"Hello?"

"I know that I'm the last person that you want to hear from right now."

"You're absolutely right Greyson."

"Don't hang up."

"What could you possibly say that I want to hear?"

"I talked to some of my connections this afternoon."

"Get to the point."

"They were unable to collect all of the remains because of the blast."

"What is your point?"

"They sent home what they believed to be twelve sets of remains."

"And?"

"There has been some chatter that at least two of the twelve soldiers were taken as prisoners of war."

"What are you saying?"

"Maybe you weren't wrong," he answers. He hangs up.

She throws her phone against the wall in anger. The pieces fly all over the room. She tries to collect herself. She pours a glass of wine, and slowly drinks it. After she's certain that her head isn't going to explode she sits the glass aside. She locates a broom and dust pan. She sweeps up the pieces of the phone and dumps them into the trash.

She pours another glass of wine, and grabs the letter off the counter. She hoists herself onto the counter of the island. Her legs dangle over the edge as she sips her drink. She slips out of her shoes. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath as the Manolo Blahniks hit the floor. She attempts to pull herself together, but as she looks at the letter she begins to fall apart. She opens a drawer that is beneath her and to the left. She pulls out a letter opener. She hesitates as the cold metal blade finds its way under the flap of the envelope. She exhales, and slides the blade across the envelope. She looks inside and finds a few pieces of folded stationary, and two pictures that are held together with a paper clip.

She slides off the paper clip to look at the first picture. On top of the picture is a yellow post-it note. _Found this the other day. Thought that you should have it...just in case. _She pulls off the yellow post-it note and carefully lays it aside. She smiles upon seeing the picture. It's a picture of Gabe as a baby. A much younger Wilhelmina is asleep with him laying on her chest. She lays the picture aside and takes a look at the second one. The second picture has a hot pink post-it note on it. _The good old days. _She pulls of the post-it note and studies it carefully. Gabe is front and center, with a person on each side of him, with his feet off the ground. The boy in the picture beams. On his right is Wilhelmina, and to his left is Greyson. Greyson is the only one looking at the camera. Wilhelmina smiles at the little boy, and Gabe looks up at the two adults.

Wilhelmina flips the picture over to find writing on the back. She instantly recognizes the writing on the back as her own. _Gabe 20 months. _She places the post-it notes back on the pictures and then paperclips them back together. She carefully places them back in the envelope, and reaches inside for the letter. The stationary is folded three times. She cautiously unfolds it and begins to read it to herself.

_I hope that you never have to read this, but I wrote it just in case. Things have been crazy lately. I hope that I get to come home safely. I need to see you. I have things that I need to tell you, like how sorry I am. Please don't blame Greyson if anything happens. It's not his fault. I know that you'll never be able to forgive him, and you have every right to be angry at him, but he's not the only one to blame in all of this. _

_There have been a lot of explosions lately. They get closer with each day, and they happen more frequently. There has been talk that some of our men have been taken prisoner, but no one will confirm it. As much as I hate to admit this, I think you were right. I should have waited. I've got a lot of things to do before I have to be this grown up. _

_I've been thinking about things a lot lately. It's hard to sleep, so I have a lot of time to think. I miss you. Tell Nico that I miss her too. I hope that you're not working to hard...even though I'm sure you are. When I get done with my tour I'd really like to come see you. I know that we didn't leave off on the best terms. I said a lot of things that I didn't mean, and I'm truly sorry. I keep reminding myself that everyday is one day closer to being home. I never thought that I'd miss home so much, considering how much I hated it while I was there._

_Gabe_

_P.S. I don't say this enough as I should, Mom I love you, I always have._

Tears stream down her face. She tries her hardest to make them stop, but they don't. She sobs and her heart shatters once again. She gets off the counter and finishes her glass of wine. She wipes the tears, and the mascara from her cheeks. Consumed by anger she throws the wine glass against wall. It shatters and shards of glass fly everywhere. She leaves the kitchen and goes to the bathroom. She fills the bathtub and climbs in. She closes her eyes and holds her breath and submerges herself in water.


	3. Blow Me Away

When she wakes up she's tangled in blankets, and drenched in sweat. She has a hard time just catching her breath. She flips on the light and looks around the room, trying to bring herself back to reality. She tries to get the dream she's just had out of her head. She flips off the light and lies in the dark. With her eyes closed it's as if she can hear his voice, even if just for a second.

She thinks back to the last time she saw him, the last time she heard his voice.

_She looks at her son, dressed in his army fatigues getting ready to board a plane to the middle east. Every fiber of her being tells her to take her little boy and run, but a man stands before her. "I've got to go," he tells her._

_She steps forward as the lump in her throat grows. She reaches for him, and he steps into her embrace. He squeezes her tightly. "Love you mom," he whispers softly. _

_She pets his head, and kisses the top of his head, "I love you too," she reminds him. _

_He releases her. "I've really got to get going," he announces as he throws his bag over his shoulder._

"_Come back in one piece, ok son?" Greyson tells him._

"_Anything for you pops."_

"_Just come back," Wilhelmina pleads._

"_I'll be back before you know it."_

"_Be safe," his step-mother muses._

"_I'm always safe Kelly."_

"_Bye Gabe," ten year old Emma waves._

_He twirls her around in the air. "Behave for mom and dad, ok?"_

"_Ok," she agrees with a smile._

"_Come on private we're waiting on you," another man in uniform calls from the plane._

"_Coming," he smiles. _

She opens her eye but the vision of Gabe remains. A young man dressed in green and brown camouflage with a shaved head. Handsome, and tall with big blue eyes. A bright white smile, on a perfectly symmetrical face.

She puts a fluffy down filled pillow over her head. But she can't stop thinking about her dream. _A thin, dirt covered version of Gabe pleading with her_, _"Please help me." _The dream shook her to her core, even though she had it many times before. In fact it was the only recurring dream she had ever had. She closes her eyes, but sleep doesn't come easily. She finally dozes off. Less than an hour later her alarm clock wakes her up.

She rolls out of bed and gets ready. She pours herself a cup of tea, and heads out the door. She walks into Mode with huge dark circles under her eyes. No amount of make-up in the world could hide circles that big. She quietly slips into her office. When Marc slips in her head is on the desk. He walks up quietly.

"Are you sleeping?" he asks softly.

She doesn't respond. He gently taps the arm that is between the desktop and her face. "Willie wake up."

She jumps. "You scared me," she admits.

"You were asleep?"

She sits back in her chair and yawns. "I didn't get any sleep last night," she admits.

"Do you want some tea, or coffee? Some speed, maybe?"

"Marc I'll be fine."

"You fell asleep on your desk."

"I'll be fine."

"Willie what's going on?"

"Nothing."

"You take a day off out of the blue. I would think that after a day off you'd be well rested, but you look exhausted."

"I told you that I didn't sleep last night."

"Is something wrong?"

"No I'm fine," she admits.

"You don't have to lie to me."

"I'm just dealing with some personal issues."

"Is this because of Connor?"

"No," she admits.

"I didn't think so. So what's this about?"

"What's what about?"

"The look of despair that you're rocking today."

"Look of despair?"

"Why don't you go home and get some rest?"

"I can't just leave."

"I'll keep Daniel occupied."

"He's a little bit more observant than you give him credit for being, he would notice."

"So take a nap, and I'll push all of your appointments to tomorrow."

"I've got a lot of work to do."

"Fine. I'll leave you alone."

"Bye," she waves to him as he leaves.

Marc stops at reception to get Wilhelmina's messages. He returns to her office, but knocks this time.

"What Marc?" she snarls without looking up from her desk.

"I've got your messages."

"Bring them to me," she demands.

He hands her the messages, and retreats. She rifles through the messages. She tosses half of them into the trash can. Before she can go through the rest of the pile her phone rings. She picks up the receiver and finds Amanda on the other end.

"Greyson Cooper is on the line for you."

"Take a message."

"He said that it was urgent, that it can't wait."

"Take a message," Wilhelmina repeats.

"He said that if you told me to take a message he'd come see you in person."

Wilhelmina rolls her eyes and answers, "He's the last person that I want to deal with today, but put him through."

"Ok," Amanda agrees.

"Wilhelmina?"

"Greyson why are you calling me at work? We have an agreement."

"It's an emergency."

"What could possibly be so important that you're calling me?"

"I just got word that there has been confirmation that two men from Gabe's unit are alive. Their identities haven't been confirmed."

"That doesn't mean anything. They're prisoners of war. There is nothing that we can do."

"You're right. There is nothing that we can do, but a plan has been put in motion to retrieve them."

"I see."

"These guys will be able to give us closure. They'll be able to tell us exactly what happened to our son."

"Keep me posted."

"Goodbye Wilhelmina," he hangs up.

Wilhelmina tries her best to focus on work, but her focus keeps returning to Gabe. Finally she decides to head home. There are very few people left in the office when she gets into the elevator. Marc slips in with her just before the doors close.

"I did something that I shouldn't have," Marc confesses.

"I don't want to know about it."

"I know I'm not your assistant anymore, but I still worry about you."

"What's your point?"

"I may have hacked into your computer the other day."

"Find anything of interest?"

"One thing."

"Really?"

"Don't hit me for asking this."

"I can't make any promises."

"I'll take my chances."

"With what?"

"Who is Gabe Cooper?"

She looks at him, and then looks at the floor. "Did you hear me?" he questions.

"Yes Marc, I heard you."

"But you didn't answer."

She clenches her jaw, and flares her nostrils. "I should have you fired," she tells him.

"I shouldn't have asked. It's none of my business."

"You're damn right it's none of your business."

"But you knew him?"

"Yes I knew him."

"That's why you took yesterday off?"

"I went to D.C. to visit his grave. I go every year on the day of his death."

"He must have meant a lot to you."

"He did."

"You never mentioned him. We're you two close?"

"Gabe didn't talk to me for years," she admits.

"Who was he? Your nephew? Cousin? Brother? You don't have a brother do you?"

"No," she answers.

"To which one?"

"All of them," she replies.

"Was he your godson?"

"No Marc, he wasn't."

"So who was he? A young lover?"

"No Marc, he was my son," she reveals.


	4. Dead Man's Road

"Your son? Willie you don't have a son."

"Not anymore."

"You never had a son."

She looks him in the eye, fighting back tears, "I did."

"Why didn't I know?"

"I don't talk about it," she admits.

"I'm a great listener."

"Great?"

"Good. I'm a good listener."

"Gabe was known for his impatience, like me I guess. He was born impatient."

"How are you born impatient?"

"He was born on Christmas day, a month before he was due. I was in labor for a total of three hours. In fact Fey almost fired me for the whole thing."

"What do you mean?"

"She told me that I had six weeks to get it out of my system, and then I would be expected to return to work as if nothing had changed."

"I'm sensing a but?"

"She ended up adoring Gabe. And so did I despite having no clue what I was doing. Gabe and Nico are...were as different as day and night. He was always easy going, and low maintenance. I was completely enamored. Gabe's father and I had different views of the world. Which I should have known, after all the senator did introduce us. He expected me to quit my job, to cook and clean, and be Holly Homemaker."

"Were you married to him?"

"Yes, we eloped six weeks after we met. Things ended, and not on the greatest terms. He thought that I worked too much, so he took Gabe," she recounts with little emotion.

"Did anyone know about him?"

"No. Fey insisted that no one know, if I wanted to keep my job. Gabe was twenty one months old when Greyson left. We had a fight and I told him that I wanted him gone by the time I got home from work. When I got home that night he was gone, but he had taken Gabe with him."

"You never got him back?"

"I tried, but I let my job get in my way. I missed a lot of things in his life, just like I did with Nico. I rarely saw him, but I did see him whenever I could. When he was twelve he stopped talking to me. When her turned seventeen he enlisted. As much as his father wanted him to go, he didn't want him to go so young, but he signed the papers anyway. Gabe had and I were barely on speaking terms when he got shipped out."

"I didn't know."

The elevator dings, and Wilhelmina steps off. Marc follows behind her.

"Needless to say I wish that I could have done things differently."

"You know it's not to late."

Wilhelmina looks at him on the verge of tears.

He clarifies, "For you and Nico."

"Nico is too much like me."

"What do you mean?"

"She's stubborn, rebellious, and unforgiving."

"It's not too late," he reiterates.

She says nothing, she opens the door of the town car waiting on her, and slides in. She doesn't shut the door behind her. "Are you coming or  
not?" she questions from inside.

He slides in beside her, and closes the door. They ride to her apartment in complete silence. The car comes to a stop, and they get out. He follows her into the building. When they step into her apartment he breaks the silence of things left unsaid. He moves towards the kitchen, "What do you want to drink?" he asks.

"It doesn't matter," she answers.

He pours her a drink. She stands at the island, frozen. He looks at her, and follows her gaze to an envelope. He hands her the glass of wine, and gives her a questioning look.

"Gabe wrote it before he left. Greyson just gave it to me," she reveals.

She gently lifts the envelope off the counter. She hands Marc the pictures, and walks away.

"Where are you going?"

She doesn't answer. He studies the pictures in silence. She goes to her safe. She enters the code, and it pops open. She touches the back of the safe. She slides the false back up, and pulls out two items. She slides the false back shut, and closes the safe. She puts the picture back in place, and returns to the kitchen. She finds Marc standing at the island staring at the pictures.

"This is him?" he holds up the picture of Wilhelmina with a sleeping baby on her chest.

"Yes," she answers quietly.

He holds up the second picture. He points to the man holding Gabe's hand, "And this is..."

Wilhelmina answers before he can get the question out, "That's Greyson."

She hands Marc a framed picture. He studies the young man in uniform. The young man in the picture smiles, but the look in his eyes reveals his uncertainty.

"It was taken just before he left," she admits.

"How old was he?"

"Barely eighteen."

Marc stares at the picture. He finds Wilhelmina's smile, and her unmistakable blue eyes. He finds prominent cheekbones, and other features from the man in the other picture. "He was gorgeous."

"I tried to persuade him to go into modeling, instead of..." her voice cracks and she can't continue.

He looks at her. "What is that?" he asks.

"Home movies," she answers.

"Can I see?"

She hands him the disc.

"I just keep thinking that one day I'll wake up, and this will be a really bad dream. That he won't be... gone and I'll be able to apologize for all of the mistakes that I made."

"You've got to let him go."

"I can't. I wish that it were that simple. I know that I should be able to let him go, but I still can't admit to myself that he's really dead, that I'm never going to see him again."

"I can't believe that you had a son, and I didn't know."

"You know now."

"Willie you know it's ok to feel something about this."

"It's not ok."

"He was your son."

She clenches her jaw as a tear escapes, "I know."

Later he finds himself in front of a T.V. in her apartment. She's finally fallen asleep. He pops in the DVD with home movies on it. He presses play and watches carefully. The first thing he sees is a much younger Wilhelmina. She smiles at the camera, and points to something out of the frame. The camera moves, and a little boy comes into the frame. He smiles at the camera, and his dimples show. His caramel colored curls flop as he begins a bear crawl. He reaches the coffee table, and pulls himself up. "Gabe," Wilhelmina's voice calls in the background. The little boy pushes away from the table. He begins wobbling towards her. Her arms reach for him. When he reaches her she pulls him close. She hugs him tight. He giggles. She turns him around to walk the other direction. Instead he takes a seat in her lap. "Mama!" he squeals. He tips his head up to look at her. He uses his tiny hands to touch her face. She looks at him and he gives her a wet, sloppy kiss. He smiles.

Before he can move onto the next movie he hears a scream. He quickly runs into Wilhelmina's room.

"Willie are you ok?" he questions her as she sits up in bed.

"Just had a bad dream. I'm fine."

"You don't seem fine."

"I'm fine."

"What was the dream about?"

"Nothing Marc. You should go home, and get some sleep. Don't worry about me."

"Are you sure that you'll be ok?"

"I'm fine. Go," she demands.

"Ok," he agrees.

He leaves her apartment, but she stays wide awake. Her dream replays in her head, over and over again as if it's real. _She hears gunfire. She looks down at her hands and finds them covered in blood. "What did you do?" a familiar voice asks her. She looks at the ground and finds Gabe laying on the ground. She falls to her knees, and holds him in her arms as he bleeds. Tears fall from her eyes as his breathing becomes more labored with each passing second. He looks up at her with big blue eyes and says, "This is your fault. You did this to me." _

She looks around the room, and tries to let the silence take over, but she can't get his voice out of her head. His life flashes before her eyes. She opens the bedside stand and pulls out the photo album. She lays it aside. She pulls out the object that had laid underneath it for so many years. The feel of the cold black metal in her hands wakes her up. She swallows hard and cocks the gun.

Her phone rings, and she's brought back into reality. She lays the gun aside, and reaches for her phone.

"Hello?" she answers.

"I forgot my laptop," Marc tells her.

"I'll bring it to you tomorrow," she promises.

"I didn't wake you up did I?"

"No. I'll see you tomorrow Marc."

She hangs up the phone and looks down the barrel of the gun. She closes her eyes, and discharges the bullet in the chamber.


	5. The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes

She allows the bullet to fall into her hand. She pulls the clip out of the gun and places it in the drawer along with the gun. She places the photo album on top, and closes the drawer. She lays down, and closes her eyes, but sleep never comes. She lies in her bed and listens to the silence of her apartment.

The clock ticks, a siren blares outside. The sounds change, but she never falls asleep. Finally her alarm clock goes off, and she allows her eyes to open. She gets dressed and puts on a heavy layer of make-up, in an attempt to hide the truth from the world. She has a cup of tea, and writes a short note. She slips the note into the case that contains Marc's laptop. She grabs her things and heads off to work.

She gets off the elevator and attempts to tune out the people around her. She makes her way past Amanda without a word. She brushes past Daniel, and makes her way over to Marc. She lays the laptop on his desk, and walks away. She goes into her office, and closes the door behind her. Just as she takes a seat at the desk her phone rings.

"Hello," she answers.

"Do you want me to bring your messages into you?" Amanda questions.

"No."

"You've had a lot of calls this morning."

"I don't want to take any calls today," she replies.

"Some of them are urgent."

"I'll call them back tomorrow."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she hangs up the phone.

After being there for an hour she heads into the meeting for the next issue. She sits next to Daniel. She stares blankly into the crowd. She watches Betty as she presents.

"So what do you think?" Betty looks at Wilhelmina.

Wilhelmina doesn't respond. Daniel elbows her, "Wilhelmina did you hear her?"

She returns to reality. "That's fine," she answers.

"That's it? No cruel jokes, or harsh criticism?" Betty questions.

"Your idea is fine," Wilhelmina answers.

After the meeting Wilhelmina slowly begins to gather her things. Daniel waits until everyone else is gone to approach her.

"Are you ok?"

"Of course I am," she answers.

"Are you sure?"

"Daniel why are you asking?"

"You haven't been yourself the past few days."

"I have a lot of things on my mind."

"Did you even hear what Betty's proposal was?"

"I trust Betty. She's proved that she is deserving."

"When was the last time that you had any sleep?"

"What?"

"You look exhausted, and you started to nod off halfway through the meeting."

"I..."

"Go home," he tells her.

"I'm fine."

"Go home, and get some rest. It's not a request Wilhelmina."

"Daniel you're..."

He cuts her off, "Don't argue with me. Go home and get some rest. You're no use to me if you're too tired to think straight. And if you argue with me about it I'm going to give you three days suspension for insubordination."

"Fine," she rolls her eyes and storms off.

When she gets home she turns the ringer of her phone off. She sits down on the couch for a minute. She starts to read Betty's proposal, but falls asleep before she's even a quarter of the way through. When she wakes up she looks out the window to find that it's dark outside. She slips out of her shoes, and dress. She grabs a blanket, and turns the fireplace on. She curls up on the couch and once again attempts to read Betty's proposal.

Once again she nods off. When she wakes up she turns off the fireplace and flips on the T.V. The chipper news reporter begins to go over the highlights for the morning news. Wilhelmina looks at her watch in disbelief. She double checks the time with the T.V. only to find that it's just after five o'clock. She flips off the T.V. and takes a quick bath. She washes her face, and applies a fresh coat of make-up. She heads off to work once again. She arrives early. She slips into her office.

"What are you doing here? It's not eight o'clock yet," Daniel wonders.

"Thought that I'd come in and get an early start, so that I can make up for yesterday."

"Really?"

"And I couldn't sleep anymore."

"So you did get some rest?"

"Yes."

"Good. You want some coffee, or tea?"

"No."

"Ok."

"I read Betty's proposal."

"And now you're ready to crush her?"

"No. I think that it's a good piece."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but I think that it's a little bit one dimensional."

"Of course you do."

"It should be more than an article."

"Meaning?"

"Pictures would help."

"I agree."

"Why do you sound so surprised?"

"I just didn't think that you'd like it."

"I support the troops."

"You like men in uniform," Daniel smirks.

"That too," she agrees.

"Great, I'll let her know."

"I get to pick the models," she reminds him.

"I figured."

After Daniel leaves Wilhelmina finds a stack of messages on her desk. She starts going through them, but she is interrupted. Betty comes into her office with a goofy grin.

"Yes Betty?"

"You actually liked my piece?"

"I didn't dislike it," she digs through some papers, and pulls out the proposal, "Here. I made a few comments, "she hands it to Betty.

Betty takes the paper to find that it is covered in purple. "Since when do you use purple ink?"

"I was at home, I didn't have any red. Sorry to disappoint you."

"It's fine. I like it."

"Just because they aren't in red doesn't mean that they are any less serious."

"Of course not. Thank you Wilhelmina," Betty leaves her office.

Wilhelmina starts going through the papers on the desk, and puts the messages away. She sits through several meetings until two when she returns to her office. She picks up the phone and dials Marc.

"Marc St. James..." before he can finish his greeting she's begun talking.

"Marc I know that you're not my assistant anymore."

"When do you want me to set up interviews?"

"Can we talk about that later?"

"What do you need?"

"Can you get me something to eat? I haven't eaten all day."

"Sure. I'll take care of it. Have you checked your phone lately?"

"My phone hasn't rang all day."

"Your cell phone," he clarifies.

"I haven't looked at it since yesterday, why?"

"I called earlier about the shoot for the cover."

"I turned the ringer off."

"It said that your voice mail box is full."

"Why didn't you call me on this phone?"

"Amanda told me that you weren't taking calls."

"I'll go talk to her," she answers.

"I'll talk to you about it when I bring you your lunch."

Wilhelmina hangs up and gets up from her seat. She leaves her office and goes over to the reception area.

"Here are your messages," Amanda hands her a huge stack of yellow pieces of paper.

"You can put my calls through."

"Good because the phone has been ringing off the hook for you."

"Anything important?"

"The people at Donna Karan called for you. The rest were someone calling about something urgent. You're supposed to call him back."

"Who?"

"You've gotten so many calls I can't remember. It's all there," she points to the stack of messages.

Wilhelmina returns to her office with the stack of messages. She takes a seat begins making phone calls. She speaks with a couple of photographers, and a few clients. On message six she finds Amanda has written _Call Greyson. _Before she can pick up the phone it rings.

"Wilhelmina Slater," she answers.

"You've got a visitor."

"Who?"

"I don't know," Amanda answers.

"What does he look like?"

"He's in uniform."

"Tall, blue eyes, blonde hair?"

"No. He doesn't have blonde hair."

"You didn't ask for his name?"

"He said that he really needed to see you."

"Send him in."


	6. Complicated Questions

She's going through messages when the man in uniform walks in. She doesn't look up at him. The footsteps stop at the edge of her desk.

"Greyson what is so urgent that you had to come here for?"

"Ma'am?"

Wilhelmina looks up at a young soldier. "I'm sorry who are you? Are you one of the models for the shoot?"

"No ma'am. You are Wilhelmina Slater right?"

"Yes," she nods.

"I need you to come with me."

"Come with you? Where? Why?"

"Ma'am that information is classified. I need you to get your things and come with me."

"What is this about?"

"I can't tell you."

"I'm not going anywhere with you."

"Please don't make this any more difficult than it has to be."

"Explain to me what is going on, and I won't have to."

"I can't. You can't ask any questions. You just need to come with me."

"I'm working."

"This takes precedence."

"I can't just leave."

"I've already spoken to your boss. He knows that you're leaving."

"My boss?"

"Yes, Mister Meade."

"He is not my boss."

"Well he knows that you're leaving."

"Where am I going?"

"Please just come with me ma'am."

She grabs her purse and phone and follows him. They leave the Meade building and get into a car.

"Where are we going?" she asks again.

"I can't tell you."

"Did Greyson put you up to this?"

"Who?"

"I can't believe that he would do this, just because I missed a few calls."

"Ma'am what are you talking about?"

"Greyson Cooper. He did this, right?"

"No."

The rest of the ride is pretty quiet. Eventually they arrive at their destination, an airport. "Where are you taking me?" she questions.

"For the last time, I cannot tell you that. Come on."

She follows him out of the car. He boards a plane, and she follows him. She straps in, and stares at the young soldier as they take off. The flight only lasts about an hour. At the airport a car waits on them. Wilhelmina gets into the car without further questions. They take a short ride. They stop outside a hospital. The young man gets out, and waits on her.

"Where are we?"

"We're in D.C. ma'am."

"Why are we here?"

"Please just follow me," he answers.

She follows him into the entrance of the hospital. They get on an elevator. It stops on the twelfth floor. He gets off, and she follows him. They walk down the corridor to an intensive care unit. He opens the doors and walks through.

"Are you going to tell me what is going on now?"

"You need to keep up," he answers.

She follows him into a room. They walk past one bed. In it lies a man on a ventilator. She follows the soldier past the curtain to a second bed. She quietly stares at the thin body lying in the bed. His face is swollen, and bruised. His eyes are swollen shut, and his face is bloated. He too is on a ventilator.

"He's been heavily sedated."

"Who is he?"

"That's what you're here for."

"I don't understand."

"The two soldiers were recovered in Iraq. They have no dog tags."

"What's your point?"

"These two men were from your son's unit. Some of the families have already been here to identify them, and some are en route."

"You don't know who they are?"

"We know who they aren't," he answers, "We've eliminated three candidates already."

"Was Greyson here?"

"He couldn't identify either of them, which is understandable. They're both in pretty bad shape."

"Do you know who the other boy is?"

"We believe that it's Jake Crowley. His parents are en route now."

"And him?"

"We don't know."

Her heart skips a beat. She carefully studies the seemingly lifeless body as the respirator causes his chest to rise and fall. His hair is very short. His faces in unrecognizable, so she moves onto other parts of his body. "Does he have any scars?"

"Lots of them," the soldier answers.

"Of course," she says solemnly.

"Did your son have any tattoos or distinguishing characteristics?"

She says nothing, coming to the realization that this could be her son. That her son could be alive, and lying in front of her.

"Can I have a moment alone with him?" she asks.

"Of course. I'll be waiting right outside the door," he walks away. She moves from her position at the foot of the bed. Gabe didn't have any tattoos. He didn't have any scars, or distinguishing characteristics. It could be Gabe, but how could she tell? She tries her hardest to think of something that would let her know. Suddenly a light bulb goes off in her head. She leaves the young soldier's bedside, and exits the room.

"Do you know if they took x-rays?"

"I don't know. Their doctor is right there," he points to the reception area. She walks over to the greying doctor.

"Can I speak to you?"

"Of course," he answers.

"The soldiers..." she starts.

"I can't discuss anything about them. Doctor-patient confidentiality."

"I understand that. Did you take x-rays?"

"Of course we did," he answers.

"Full body?"

"Yes," he nods.

"Gabe has a pin in his left foot, in the big toe. He had to have reconstructive surgery after he got stepped on by a horse when he was ten. And he has wisdom teeth, they never removed them, but they never came in either."

"I'll have to look at the x-rays."

The soldier that she arrived with joins her. He leads her into the waiting room. She finds Greyson sitting in the waiting room.

"What are you doing here?" she questions.

"I don't know if it's him. I couldn't tell. I'm his father I should know. That's why they had to bring you here, because I couldn't tell."

"That's why you kept calling?"

"You never answered."

"I..."

"Do you think that it's him?"

"I don't know."

"Don't lie. Wilhelmina I know that you know. If anyone could tell if it was Gabe or not, it's you. You wouldn't need to see him to know. You had a connection with him that I never did, which is why he enlisted, he couldn't stand me, and he was angry with you."

She looks out the window, but she doesn't answer him.

"Did you hear me?"

"I heard you," she answers.

"Do you think that it's him? Do you think that it's Gabe?"

"I think that... I never felt like he was dead," she admits.

"What does that mean exactly? I could never tell with you Wilhelmina."

"Which is why we never worked out... that and the fact that you were never faithful. How is Kelly by the way?"

"She's fine."

"Does she know?"

"Does she know what?"

"Does she know about the others?"

"They're aren't any others."

"You might fool her, but you don't fool me."


	7. Absent Elements

"Please, don't do this. I don't want to do this right now. Do you think that it's Gabe? Or have you grown so cold, and unfeeling that you wouldn't know your own son?"

"I don't want to get my hopes up," she answers.

"The question is simple Wilhelmina, do you think that it's him or not?"

"I want it to be," she replies.

"But?"

"No but," she answers.

"So is that a yes? You think that it's Gabe?"

"I don't want to be wrong."

"You think it's Gabe?"

"It doesn't matter what I think Greyson, all that matters is what is."

"I'm not asking you what is. I'm asking you what you think."

"I think that it's very unlikely that our son is still alive. I think that the chances of the young man laying in that bed being Gabe are next to nothing."

"That still doesn't answer my question."

"But my heart doesn't seem to be connected to my brain at all, right now."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because my heart says that it is."

Before he can respond the doctor walks into the waiting room. "Is it him? Is it my son?" Greyson questions.

"You two are Gabe Cooper's parents?"

"Yes," Wilhelmina answers quickly.

"The x-rays are consistent with what you described," the doctor reveals.

"So it's him?" Greyson quizzes.

"We can't be sure. We'd like to get DNA samples from the both of you," he answers.

"Of course," Wilhelmina agrees.

"How long will it take?"

"We'll put a rush on it. So it should only take two to four hours."

Wilhelmina and Greyson go to the lab to have their blood drawn. After having their blood drawn they return to the waiting room. Before Wilhelmina can even sit down her phone rings.

"Hello?" she answers.

"Where did you go?" Marc questions.

"I had to leave."

"I've been trying to call you for the last two hours. You tell me to go get you lunch and then you disappear."

"I haven't had cell phone service. There are a lot of dead spots here."

"Where are you?"

"D.C."

"Why?"

"Long story," she answers.

"You just decided to leave in the middle of the day?"

"Not quite. I was abducted."

"By who?"

"I can't talk right now, ask Amanda about it."

"Ok."

"Goodbye," she hangs up.

The wait seems closer to three days, rather than the three hours that it actually is. The doctor comes out. He approaches Wilhelmina.

"May I speak to you? In private?" he questions.

"Of course," she answers.

She follows him into his office where he shuts the door. He takes a seat, she follows his example.

"Why did you want to talk to me in private?"

"We're still waiting on the paternity results."

"Is there a problem?"

"No. There's not. They just processed yours first. They were almost done when I went down there. They should be done in ten minutes or so," he answers.

"So is he my son?" she questions.

"The young man in that hospital bed could be anyone's son. He's been through a lot of trauma. There has been some brain injury, which is why he is so sedated, that and we want the swelling to go down before he wakes up. My point is, this, no matter whose son he is, he may not ever remember. Even if he does remember the chances of him ever returning to normal are slim to none. He's going to need extensive rehabilitation, and it's possible that he may never be able to take care of himself again."

"He will wake up though, right?"

"We've been closely monitoring his brain activity, and it seems very likely that we will wake up. The scenario I described to you, is of course the worst case scenario if and when he wakes up."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I know the results of the DNA test, but you don't have to."

"I'm not going to pay you to make them go away," she responds.

"I'm not asking you to. I'm giving you a chance to walk away, if you want."

"I've made some bad decisions in my life, especially pertaining to my children. I will do whatever it takes to give him everything that he needs."

"I know how dedicated you are to your career."

"My career is very important to me, but it has been a roadblock when it comes to being a mother. I'd give it up in a second if I had to."

"Are you sure that you want to know?"

"I'm sure that you believe that I am a cold, heartless, bitch, and it might be true to some extent. But I am still a person, and I love my son. Even though I am a career woman, I am still a mother. I am bonded to my children, so no DNA test is change what I already know in my heart."

"You seem so sure that young man is your son. Greyson wasn't at all."

"I am his mother. I was there when he was born, I know him better than anyone else, even thought I did miss a lot of important moments in his life. Greyson... missed his birth, and even though he had physical custody of Gabe as a child, he wasn't anymore present than I was. I think that I know my own son."

He slides the envelope across the table. She rips it open without a second thought. She pulls out the folded piece of paper and reads it to herself.

"Do you know what it means?"

"I've had enough experience with DNA tests to know how to read one," she admits.

There is a knock on the door. "Come in," the doctor answers.

A lab technician hands him another envelope. The doctor opens the results and then hands the paper to Wilhelmina.

"The second results aren't necessary," she tells him.

"No?"

She studies the second set of results and responds, "Like I said the DNA results don't change what I already know in my heart."


	8. Six Feet From The Edge

She takes the results into the waiting room with her. She hands them to Greyson, without a word. She walks past him, and heads to the I.C.U.

"Where are you going? I don't know how to read these."

"I'm going to see my son," she answers.

He catches up to her, grabbing her arm. He spins her around. "Your son?"

She corrects herself, "Our son."

"It is Gabe?"

"Why would you doubt me when I told you that it was?"

"I don't know."

She pushes the doors open. She waits for him, but he stands unmoved. "Are you coming?"

"No," he answers.

"No?"

"I can't see him like that."

"Ok Greyson," she huffs in irritation.

"What is that tone about?"

"You're unbelievable. We just found out that our son is alive, and you can't see him like that? He's alive, why does it matter what he looks like?"

"I can't go in there."

"Fine. Greyson do what you're most talented at, just walk away."

"I didn't walk away."

"You're absolutely right, you ran away."

"Don't...."

"Fine," she walks away from him. He watches her disappear, but he stays put. She walks down the hall until she reaches the room she had been in earlier. She quietly slips in, and takes a seat next to the bed. She stares at the body of the man her son once was, and might be again one day. She closes her eyes and begins to pray. When she's done she takes Gabe's hand. She squeezes it tightly.

"Gabe I know that you can't hear me, but I need you to wake up," she tells him. She stays with him for hours. She leaves his side to get a cup of coffee and make a few phone calls. She stands in the cafeteria with a bitter cup of coffee. She gives Daniel a call.

"Hello?"

"It's me," she reveals.

"Where are you?"

"I... something's come up, and I know right now isn't the time to be asking, but I need to take a little bit of time off."

"How long?"

"A week, maybe more."

"Are you coming back?"

"Absolutely."

"What's going on?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Is everything ok?"

"No... but it will be."

"Let me know if you need anything."

"I've got to go."

"Talk to you later," he hangs up.

She waits a few seconds and then makes another phone call. "Wilhelmina?"

"Hi Betty."

"Why are you calling me?"

"I'm calling to ask you a favor."

"Ok, what?"

"I need you to postpone your article."

"Why?"

"I can't go into details right now, but it will be worth your wait. I promise."

"Do I really have a choice?"

"Not really," she admits.

"Is that all?"

"Yes. Goodbye," Wilhelmina hangs up.

She stares at the phone feeling completely conflicted. She dials one more number. It sends her to voicemail.

"Nico, it's your mother. I know that... I know that mistakes were made, but I need you to call me immediately. I know that you hate me, but it's an emergency. I'll keep calling until you answer. So please call back." she hangs up.

She's walking to the elevator when her phone rings. "Hello?" she answers.

"What do you want mother?"

"Where are you?"

"Why does it matter?"

"I need you to get on the next plane out of wherever you are."

"Why?"

"Nico please for once in your life don't be difficult. Just do it."

"Why should I?"

"Because I'm telling you to."

"So what?"

"I need you on the next flight to D.C."

"D.C.? You're in D.C.? Why?"

"Nico please."

"Give me a reason."

"I shouldn't have to give you a reason. I am your mother, and I'm not asking. I'm telling you."

"You've told me a lot of things."

"We need to talk."

"What is there to talk about?"

"I'm begging you."

"I can't just drop everything and come running because you tell me to."

"Nico you don't understand. I need you to come here. I will send a car to pick you up at the airport. I'll send you money for a plane ticket. I'll do whatever you want me to, just get here."

"I thought that you never wanted to see me again."

"Nico... my patience is wearing thin. Are you coming or not?"

"Mom is something wrong?"

"Sort of."

"You sound... upset."

"Please just get on the damn plane Nico."

"Ok. I'll text you with the details of my flight once I find one."

"Thank you."

"Goodbye."

"Bye Nico, I love you," she hangs up.

She leans against the wall across from the elevator. She takes a deep breath and prays for strength.


	9. Can't Go Back

"You've reached to office of Senator Slater," the voice on the other end of the line announces.

"May I please speak to the senator?"

"May I ask who's calling?"

"This is his daughter, Wilhelmina."

"I'm sorry but the senator isn't taking calls at this time. I can take a message if you'd like."

"I need him to call me. As soon as possible. It's an emergency."

"What kind of an emergency?"

"One that he needs to know about," she answers.

"Please don't get irate with me."

Wilhelmina hangs up the phone.

_January 28__th__ 2006: Wilhelmina stares at the casket with her son inside. She feels numb inside. She ignores her cold feet, and frozen face. She looks around the grave side. Next to her is Greyson, and his wife, and their daughter. On the other side of her is Greyson's parents. She finds herself surrounded by Greyson's family and friends. A body slips between her and Greyson's parents. She looks over. She feels relieved to see her sister standing next to her. "Sorry I'm late," she whispers. Wilhelmina says nothing. Renee squeezes Wilhelmina's gloved hand. _

It was a day that she'd never forget. At her own son's memorial the only member of her family who could manage to attend was her sister, her earliest rival. Nico had refused to leave boarding school for the funeral, and the rest of her family... gave vague, unreasonable excuses.

The elevator dings, and she steps inside. When she arrives on the twelfth floor she steps off. She finds that Greyson is no longer in the waiting room. She tosses the coffee in the trash can, and heads into the ICU. When she reaches Gabe's room she finds it exactly the way she left it. She returns to her seat. Before she knows it she's dozed off. Her beeping phone brings her back to reality. She looks at the phone, reading a text message from Nico. She steps out of the room. She makes her way down the hall into the waiting room, and calls a car service. Two and a half hours later she get another text message from Nico. _Just got picked up from the airport. The driver is taking me to the hotel. _

Wilhelmina hails a cab and head over to the hotel that Nico is staying at. She makes her way through the lobby, to the receptionist.

"Can I help you?"

"Can you tell me what room Nico Slater is in? She should be expecting me."

"And you are?"

"Her mother," she answers gruffly.

"She's in room eight twenty six," the receptionist smiles politely.

"Thank you," Wilhelmina bears her teeth.

After a short elevator ride, and a long walk down the hallway Wilhelmina reaches Nico's room. She knocks on the door and waits.

"Coming," Nico calls from inside. Seconds later the door swings open.

Wilhelmina stand in the doorway, and stares at her daughter.

"Are you going to come in?" Nico questions.

Wilhelmina nods, and steps into the room. Nico takes a seat on the couch, Wilhelmina eases herself into the overstuffed armchair.

"Where are you staying?" Nico asks.

"I've been at the hospital since I got here. I haven't had time to get a hotel."

"You've been at the hospital? What's wrong? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine."

"Is it granddad?"

"No, he's... well I wouldn't really know since he never takes my calls."

"Who's in the hospital?"

"I..."

Nico studies her mother carefully. Wilhelmina takes deep breath, "I'm sorry to have made you come here on such short notice."

"Earlier you told me that you loved me, and now you're apologizing. What is going on?"

"I don't know. I'm having a hard time processing all of it."

"Processing what?"

"They recovered two of the men from Gabe's unit."

"I thought that they were all declared..."

"They were."

"But you said that they recovered two of them?"

"Yes," Wilhelmina nods.

"Alive?"

"Yes."

"So why were you at the hospital?"

"They didn't have any identification. So the hospital had to contact all of the families. We were brought in to see if we could identify them."

"So did they identify them?"

"Yes."

"Who are they?"

"Jake Crowley."

"Gabe's best friend Jake?"

"Yes."

"That's great. So that's why you wanted me to come?"

"No," she answers.

"I was just here a few days ago," Nico admits.

"For what?"

"To visit his grave."

"I was just here a few days ago."

"I know," she reveals.

"Nico I'm sorry," Wilhelmina tells her.

"For what?"

"Everything."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm sorry that I was never the mother you needed me to be. And I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you needed me."

"It wasn't all your fault. I wasn't the easiest kid. I didn't take your calls and..."

"That's not the point. I should have been there for you, and I wasn't."

"Look if this is you feeling guilty about spending time with Gabe... don't. You don't have to apologize for that."

"I should have done more, for the both of you."

"Why are you telling me this, now?"

"Because I don't want to know that I pushed you away. I don't want to spend the rest of my life regretting not trying to have a relationship with you."

"Why do I get the feeling that there is something you're not telling me?"

"Because there is something I'm not telling you."

"And what would that be, exactly?"

"They identified the other soldier."

"As who?"

Wilhelmina tries to hide her emotion, but she can't. Tears begin falling from her eyes. She tries to wipe them away as they stream down her face.

"Why are you crying? Don't cry. Please don't cry," Nico begs.

Wilhelmina gets out of her seat, and walks over to the window. She stares out and tries to stop crying. Nico stands behind her and softly questions, "Why are you crying?"

Wilhelmina turns around and tries to get up enough courage to answer. Nico then does something completely out of character, she hugs Wilhelmina. Wilhelmina hugs her back. She softly whispers in Nico's ear, "It's Gabe."

"What about him?" Nico takes a step back trying to read her mother's expression.

"The other soldier... it's Gabe."

"What?"


	10. Adore

"Gabe is alive."

"You're sure that it's him?"

"DNA confirmed it."

"Gabe is alive? My brother is alive?"

"Yes."

"I want to see him."

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Wilhelmina warns.

"Why not?"

"He looks pretty bad. He doesn't even look like Gabe."

"I still want to see him."

"He's not even awake."

"I don't care. I want to see him."

"Nico why don't you wait? Get settled, and come see him in the morning."

"Ok. How did Greyson take it?"

"He didn't want to see him."

"Why not?"

"He said that he couldn't handle seeing Gabe like that."

"How bad is he?"

"I had to fly in from New York because Greyson couldn't identify him. His face is swollen, and bruised..." she stops trying to regain her composure.

"It's ok."

"No it's not ok."

"Calm down. It will be ok."

"Nico he might not ever wake up, and even if he does he might never even be able to take care of himself."

"What do you mean?"

"The doctor said that he had some brain damage. Which isn't entirely surprising considering that he was a prisoner of war for nearly four years."

"So what does that mean, exactly?"

"It means that someone is probably going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life."

"Gabe wouldn't like that."

"No," Wilhelmina agrees.

"Who? Who is going to take care of him? I'm sure that Greyson doesn't have time to do that."

"He'll probably want to hire someone to take care of him."

"Gabe is his son."

"And Greyson has only ever wanted to spend time with Gabe when it was convenient for him."

"So if he has to be taken care of for the rest of his life you're ok with hiring someone to do it?"

"No," she answers.

"What choice do you have?"

"I'll do it myself. He's my son, I'd do the same for you."

"You can't take care of him, you don't have the time."

"Then I'd have to make it."

"How? With all of the crazy hours you work?"

"If it came down to it I guess I'd have to quit."

"Quit? Mode is your life."

"Sometimes you have to change your priorities."

"I guess."

"Nico I'm sorry if I ever made you feel..."

"As if you loved Gabe more?"

"I didn't...love him more."

"I know that. He was much easier to spend time with than I ever was."

"It's not an excuse. I'm your mother, it shouldn't have mattered."

"I'll admit that I was jealous of Gabe as a kid."

"I know. Do you remember the Christmas when you were five?"

"And he was eight, and I tried to run over him with my toy corvette."

"So you do remember that?"

"Of course, but in my defense he did deserve that."

"Really?"

"Maybe not as much as I thought then, but he did."

"What did he do to you?"

"He cut all of my Barbie's hair off."

"So you thought he deserved to be run over?"

"What else was I going to do? He was bigger than I was."

"That's true."

"Mom..."

"Hm?"

"I have to tell you something."

"What Nico?"

"I got a letter from Gabe a week before the explosion."

"You never told me that."

"Because I felt guilty."

"Why would you feel guilty?"

"Because he was scared. He thought that something big was about to happen. I thought that he was just trying to get attention."

"Can I ask you something?"

"I guess."

"Nico why didn't you come to the funeral?"

"He was my brother..."

"I know, you should have been there."

"I didn't want my last memory of him to be in a casket. I wasn't ready to let go of him. He was my older brother, my hero."

"I don't know if you should see him."

"I can handle it," Nico promises.

"He looks... just by looking at him I didn't know that it was him."

"He's been through a lot."

"I should be able to take one look at him and know instantly... I'm his mother."

"You're not a superhero."

Wilhelmina says nothing.

"How long are you here for?" Nico questions.

"I took a week of. I doubt that he'll even be awake then, but I can't take off any more time without an explanation."

"I'll stay with him. I don't mind."

"Won't Jonathan be upset?"

"No," she chuckles, "He's out of the picture."

"What happened?"

"He's a jerk," she admits.

"I'm sorry," she says softly.

"Don't be," her daughter answers.


	11. The Impossible

She stares at her watch for a moment. She makes note of the time, and returns her glance to her son. Her chair sits next to his bed. The world outside has grown dark, only the moon illuminates the sky. She holds tightly to the young soldier's hand. As she sits in her chair she stares at her son, hoping to speak to him once again. She closes her eyes to pray. As she closes her eyes an image of Gabe flashes in her mind. She bows her head and silently asks, _Lord please bring him back to me. Please don't punish him for my mistakes. He is an honorable deserving boy...man. He deserves a miracle. _A monitor in the room beeps, and she opens her eyes. She stares at her son, but nothing has changed. His heart beats, a machine breaths for him, and his closed eyes stare toward heaven.

As she stares at him a tear falls down her cheek. She stares at the helpless young man and begins to wonder why God had given her this second chance.

"How did you do it Gabe? How did you get back here? How did you survive?"

She receives no answer. She listens to the noises around her. She picks the sound of stilettos clicking against tile out of the background. She lifts her head up as a figure appears in the doorway. It stops for a moment, but then comes into the room. It stops next to her. Nico places her hand on Wilhelmina's shoulder and bends down to whisper in her ear. "I know you told me not to come, but you need your rest. I'll stay with him. Go to the hotel," Nico hands her a hotel key. Wilhelmina stares at her questioningly.

"Besides the nurse said you can't stay in here if you fall asleep. Go get some rest."

"Ok," she agrees, vacating her seat.

She turns to leave. "Wait," Nico begs.

Wilhelmina whips around. Nico envelopes her in her embrace. "Mom he'll be ok. There's no way that he made it this far, just to be a vegetable. It's Gabe," she reminds.

"I hope that you're right."

"Go," Nico demands as she lets go of Wilhelmina.

Wilhelmina leaves the ICU and takes the elevator to the ground floor. She hails a cab and goes to Nico's hotel. She kicks off her shoes, and climbs into bed. Much to her surprise she falls to sleep easily.

Days passed, too quickly. Before she could blink her eyes the week was over. Her flight is scheduled to leave at noon, so she stops off to see Gabe before she leaves. She slips in the room and finds Nico by his side. It amazed her how dedicated her daughter had been to Gabe. She had barely left the room. Wilhelmina takes a seat on the edge of the bed. "You look exhausted," she comments.

"I'm fine mom."

"Go. He'll be ok. Greyson is coming by in a little while."

"Are you sure?"

"He said that he's coming."

"But is he staying?"

"Why wouldn't he?"

"He looks better, but he's still not...himself."

"Greyson doesn't have a choice."

"At least now he actually looks like himself," Nico stares at the freshly shaven face of a young soldier.

"He'll be fine, go," Wilhelmina begs.

"Ok," Nico agrees.

As Nico leaves the room Wilhelmina stares at her son. He had been taken off sedatives four days earlier, but he had yet to wake up. He no longer had a chest tube, he was breathing on his own. She moves over to the chair positioned next to the bed. She slips her hand under his. She leans forward and bows her head. Before she can begin she feels him squeeze her hand. She opens her eyes and looks at him, but he remains asleep.

"Gabe I've got to leave soon," she tells him.

She feels him squeeze her hand again. "Gabe if you're trying to tell me something you're going to have to prove those aren't just muscle spasms."

His hand closes tightly around hers, and doesn't let go. "Gabe can you hear me? If you can hear me open your eyes."

She hears him take a deep breath. "Come on Gabe," she begs.

As if on cue his eyes flutter open. He stares at her silently, but questioningly.

"Hey," she smiles, trying to fight back tears of joy.

He swallows hard as if he's trying to say something. He fights his dry, scratchy throat and begins to speak, "Where am I?"

"You're in a hospital in Washington, D.C., you're home Gabe," she says as her eyes begin to tear up.

He stares at her in confusion, but says nothing.

"Do you know who you are?"

"Of course," he answers weakly, "How long have I been here?"

"About a week."

He looks out the window for a moment, and then looks at her.

"Gabe do you know who I am?"

"No," he answers.

"Oh," her heart sinks.

He smiles from ear to ear, "Mom..." he responds.

"Don't do that," she warns.

"How long are you here?"

"I've got to go soon. I have a flight back to New York in just a little while."

"I understand."

"Say the word, and I'll stay right here with you."

"No, you need to go."

"Your dad will be glad to see you."

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"I need to tell you something."

"Whatever it is, I'm sure that it can wait."

"No, it can't."

"You sound so sure of that."

"If there's one thing that I've learned through this whole thing, it's that you should tell people what they mean to you."

"Oh."

"I love you."

"I love you too Gabe."

"I know that there were some situations that you couldn't control, and some that you could, but I'm not angry with you, anymore. I know that you did the best that you could."

"I should have done better."

"Not always having you around made me learn to find strength within myself."

"I should have fought harder, for you."

"You can't change the past."

"I wish that I could."

"I don't," he answers.

"I missed you. You have no clue what..." her voice cracks, and she stops.

"I'm sorry. I should have listened to you."

"That's not important, I'm just glad that you're here now."

"I have you to thank for that."

"What do you mean?"

"I knew that you'd never rest until I got home. I knew that you were still waiting. Every time I just wanted to let go I heard your voice telling me, 'to hold on until you make it to the other side.'"

"You remember that? You were five when I told you that."

"When I was on the monkey bars," he reminisces.


End file.
